My trust for her..
Thursday, January 31, 2008 at 12:27 AM
Yobusey-yo. =)I don't know how I should start this but it's really getting me to feel so useless. Everytime I give my advice to you, you would not follow or really really take it to heart because if you did, you would have become better. Im not blaming you because you are like that but more of disappointed.
Think of how many disappointments you have caused to me but I never gave up my hope on you. Did I lose hope? If I did, then I wouldn't be talking to you or even be concerned over you. & you know that I LOVE YOU ok. WE ALL LOVE YOU. Even Fel, Esther, Didi.. But this time you're really at fault and you don't even realize it. That's the problem. You think you are right. I know how you feel, being asked over and over again. But for that matter, things should be cleared quickly. Ya, it's a small matter but it's too much that you let it go on for such a long time. & I don't mean to shout at you but the way you speak like as if the other person is at fault.. I couldn't stand it you know. & I was shocked to know that you were someone like that because I really believed that you're a changed person. Through these years, you've shown great improvements except your attitude. & Im really sick of talking to you over and over again. Ya, I need not talk to you anymore, you didn't ask me. BUT if I didn't bother or care, you think I wanted to? You are important to me ok! Of course I need to say, would I want you to learn to be like this?! But you don't understand why I SHOUTED. You felt unfair, you felt as if I wanted to find fault with you or that I DON'T believe you.. but the fact is, you must know why I shouted, why you're in the wrong. Do you know?
Next is your effort towards your related family members. You know how much effort some of them are putting in? & you totally just want to feel neglected and I told you before I hated to see you ALONE. It's not them you know, it's you. You wanted to be like this. & sometimes they really did not hear what you say, it's not that they want to ignore you. & the trip to China, what do you mean you SO DON'T WANT TO GO? This is a FAMILY THING. It's RARE that we go overseas together, or should I say NEVER IN MY LIFE. But now, we are. & you're pushing the opportunity for things to get better between you and them and being the only one that wants to be left out of this FAMILY THING. You really sadden me to witness your behaviour. You try once to speak to them but you felt that they ignore you and you are the one who wanted to see that they were ignoring you. I really hope things get better between you and them. Can you give it a try?
I feel so downnn. I don't know why. Maybe because it's not just this problem. & I realized being Emerlyn Wun Kai Xuan, makes me learn to be different, to learn and be in different circmstances. Thank God Im EMERLYN WUN. =)
& I really hope that you understand my point there. I WANT YOU WELL. :) ok? Sorry for shouting but please you really need to watch yr language and attitude. People judge you by them you know. & you hate people judging you, so you should CHANGE. YOU REALLY NEED TO CHANGE THAT AP!!! REALLYYYYY!!! Pleaseeeeeee.. & I hope you will go to China with us.
Take care all. Hmmm, don't ask me anything about this my erm sisters and brothers. I'll tell you when I feel like it. Thank you! =) Byeeee~